The first time Jeremy, my boyfriend, invited me to visit his parents’ home, I was nervous. Meeting your boyfriend’s family is stressful, especially if your intentions towards him are serious... I remember our train journey from Tel Aviv to Haifa. The closer we came to Haifa, the more my fears grew, and at each station the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I should get off and withdraw from the whole idea. Those fears were cut short at once by the inviting, warm, friendly and lively smile of his little sister, Talia. She welcomed me with natural warmth and open arms, and I immediately felt that I had found a friend.
With Talia, I could allow myself to behave naturally, already on my first visit to the Hyman family home. I spent many hours with Talia. We often sat together in her room. Sometimes I helped her with her homework; sometimes we gossiped. She liked to ask for advice about clothes and make-up. “Which is better to wear, this or that?” “Does this go with that?” “Do these shoes match the skirt?” These were regular questions that I had to answer. And we laughed a great deal together, because Talia loved to laugh.
It was very important to Talia to get to know Jeremy’s girlfriend deeply. This began with the outward details — “What, Jeremy is going out with someone who wears trousers?” (I heard her whisper) — and continued into a deep acquaintance with me and my family. Before long, my sisters and my mother too had become Talia’s friends. My parents’ home became a home for her, and she formed amazing relationships with every member of my family. But Talia did not settle for only my immediate family — she held long conversations with my cousins; she would go out with my brother-in-law’s sister (!) That was Talia. She loved people very much. She loved forming friendships, and friends loved being close to her. With her natural, sweeping energy, her inviting laughter and her sincere, wholehearted interest, she drew new friends to her.
When we announced our engagement, she was beside herself with joy. She laughed, shouted and went wild, and of course did not forget to ask: “Did you tell me first?” “Whom did you tell first, Maya or me?” (Her. We told her first. We knew it mattered to her...)
Talia loved family events. She loved family celebrations. She especially loved family weddings. I can still see her rejoicing, singing, dancing and going wild at our wedding. I am sure that everyone who was there remembers.
When Kfir was born, and two years later when Snir was born, Talia spent days and nights at the hospital. “Shall I bring you something?” “Do you need anything?” “What can I bring you?” she never stopped asking. And she did bring me things. And brought me more. She bombarded me with copies of La’Isha, creams and lipsticks (to this day I am still using them, she brought so many so generously), and many, many, many, many gifts for the children. She did not miss a single event connected with the children. Even for Kfir’s birthday at nursery in Modi’in, she made the effort and came from Haifa.
I miss my husband’s little sister very much. At the Hyman family home in Haifa, there is no one who keeps all the copies of La’Isha especially for the daughters-in-law who come for Shabbat. There is no one who, without asking, forcefully lowers the back and raises the footrest of the television armchair when I sit in it. There is no one who brings me a blanket from upstairs, just because it is “more fun with a blanket”. There is no one who deliberately backs up my “Israeli” customs at the British dining table (how many stories I have about that...)
Talia, celebrating the children’s birthdays was very difficult for us this year. Celebrating their birthdays without you? How could that be? You were always there. And you would have wanted so much to be there this time too, if only you could.
Kfir asks about you a great deal. He wants to know everything. He will never forget you, Talia. You bought him so many gifts that he has keepsakes for life. He still washes his hair with “Talia’s shampoo”, which he loves so much. Yes, it has run out several times, but we always make sure to buy him the same “Talia’s shampoo”.
Snir had the privilege of knowing you for less than a year and a half. But we shall tell him what he missed.
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Rest in peace, Talia. If only we could return to you all the love that you showered upon us and upon your nephews, whom you loved so dearly.
Ranit Budai-Hyman